The Cold War

Okay, I haven’t posted much here in a while. Well, much ever I suppose. Every time I thought I was about to I started editing my post in my head and it never got out of there. It’s a messy place, for sure.

Today, Sally mentioned to me that the hot water was turned off.
(Cue Scooby Do “Huh!?”)

So I justgoogledit: “they turn the water off in moscow” (go ahead, try it. i’ll get you started www.google.com )

Behold the following brilliance of Russian Modernity:

Moscow braces itself as city turns off hot water

WTF?! Seriously? This is a prime example of the assbackwardness of this city. Oh, I need to start my own small assbackwardness list–I’m sure Sally’s would me much longer.

Two weeks to turn off the hot water to check the pipes? Why? They might freeze in the winter? BOLLOX. I’ve been there in the winter and trust me that water is so frickin’ hot it isn’t going to freeze unless the Devil itself is calling up saying it’s ‘effing cold in Hell.

I fail to see how we are supposed to take Moscow seriously as a modern city that’s on par with the rest of the “First World.” Yeah yeah yeah…they have electricity that doesn’t go out (afaik). Sure, they have indoor facilities (with a shelf mind you) that generally work. There’s indoor water (granted you have to filter/boil it before you drink it) but hey that’s better than many places in sub-Saharan Africa–Sudan for instance. They have an awesome Metro system (minus an ounce of humanity, mind you) that is on time. They have tourist destinations (without any touristy accommodations)  that tourists can be touristy at. I’m starting to reach here a little bit.

Some say we outspent the former USSR to win the Cold War. I’m thinking we just installed more hot water heaters.

(Cue Scooby Do “Huh!?”)

It turns out it’s not depression, it’s the onset of a really ugly something.

Whoa. I’ve got the dreaded chills, sweats, and aches.

Like I said, it’s UGLY. And can we talk about the timing???? Only 6 more days of teaching, and I go home on the 6th of June.

So, is my body rejecting Moscow? Did I need a cleanse? Wait, have I been to Chernobyl recently? Did I drink directly from the tap?

I think the answer is no to all of the above, so I’ll blame my students. Especially my teens. Who knows where their filthy little teen paws have been. Bastards.

Let’s all just ask the obvious question and be done with it: WHY?

Let it go, fellas, let it go.

 

Breaking the law, breaking the law, my turbo lover…

How to answer? And what to wear??

I just got this email today. I would like to share with you how I would really like to answer these questions and have them be posted on the Language Link website.

Dear Teachers, 

The Marketing Department is working on the Language Link website, and would like to have a page in which they have a photo of all of our teachers.  In addition to the picture, they will have a little bit written about each teacher.  In order to accomplish this huge task, (HUGE, I TELL YOU!!!!) they have arranged to be at Central School on Thursday and Friday this week (17^th and 18^th May) at 11.15, 15.15 and 18.15 for at least an hour at each time.  There will be a photographer, and you will be asked to talk about yourself so that they can use the information to put beside your photo on the website.  You can choose to talk about any three of the following questions:

 

1.      What are your dreams in life? My dreams have all been crushed by the heavy weight of the unbearable oppression of my gender. I can no longer dream. I can only go through the motions of my daily routine, knowing that I will never have full equality with half of the American population within my lifetime. 

2.      What do you like about Russia? I like how much physical contact I’ve had while I’ve been here. I wonder if perhaps the whole population has figured out that I miss my husband and has decided to pick up the slack by squishing themselves into spaces that are entirely too small for them and giving me the gift of full body contact for a full 20 minute metro ride. It’s really thoughtful, and quite sweet, frankly.

Moscow vs. anywhere else.

Okay, there are entire sections of the world that I have not seen and will most likely never see, but I found it hard to return today. It’s so damn dark and corrupt and people don’t love their city, surroundings, and fellow citizens. Coming from Slovakia, Poland, Austria, and Germany, where it seems that people are just generally happy makes the contrast that much more obvious. I like being in places where people acknowledge each other and each other’s humanity, and where people aren’t in a rush to get nowhere. Sigh. 3 more weeks.

I got the job!

I’ll be working at Sunhill School in Solnechnogorsk next year. It’s a small town and a small, growing school, so it sounds a little more like what I’m looking for. More later when I have more details.

Pre-travel anxiety

Curse or blessing?