I’m not really an a$$hole, I just play one on t.v.

The metro, oh, the metro. It is the most de-humanizing shared experience in all of Russia; remember, I was not here during the Stalin years or the whole Gulag situation. Riding the metro during rush hour traffic is what I imagine a horse or cattle stampede is like. Wait, let me rethink that. Horses and cattle give each other a little breathing room. It’s the ones that get knocked over that get crushed. In the metro, there is little to no regard for anyone’s space, body, humanity, or soul. I’ve never experienced public transportation like this.

I’ll write more about this, but let me tell you that I’ve gotten really fucking good at being a defensive metro rider. You think you’re gonna put your elbow in my ear??? Here’s my dirty, ugly footwear on your shiny new shoes! (a sin in Russia) You wanna rub  your crotch on my back?? Here’s my 500 ton backpack “slipping off” and falling on your dick!!! You think it’s okay to stand face to face with me in a sardine-type situation?? Well, here’s the leftover stench of this morning’s coffee!!! And yes, I did just belch it into your semi-open mouth!!!

Drop your humanity at the door when you get on the metro, folks. It will only serve to send you to the crazy place.


About Sally

It's all about me. ALL OF IT. ABOUT ME.
This entry was posted in Anecdotes and Observations, Riding on the Metro. Bookmark the permalink.

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