Despite all of my best efforts to not be found, my ex-husband found me on The Facebooks. I have to admit that my first reaction was fear. I have remained “hidden within plain sight” for a really long time, and this was an unpleasant surprise. I feel much better about it today, with a day to think about it. I even sent back a message asking what he wanted. Now, I’m just kind of incredulous. I have a feeling that he does not remember being manipulative, abusive, and an all around fuck-up. He must actually have good memories of that time, while I cannot honestly think of even one.
By the end of that marriage, I was convinced that if I did not get out, one of us would be dead soon, and I knew for sure that I wasn’t going to let it be me. It would seem that The Fuck-Up didn’t feel the same. I was also convinced that if he bought a gun, I had to leave even sooner than I was planning, because he had a habit of hiding phone cords, keys, and other things when the fighting started.
Jump to today: “I hope you and your family are doing well. Call me if you want to.” Except that there were grammar and spelling errors in his actual message. Soooo, I was really tempted to write back what I really want to say, but I have finally learned that it will bring me no peace. In fact, it would torment me and I would sleep very little, obsessing over the possible effects, wondering what to expect next, etc. In my actual response I asked why he wanted to be in contact, what he would get out of us being in contact, and told him that I am married and happy. I then immediately edited my security and privacy setting on The Facebooks. I’m still not even sure how he was able to message me.
I don’t know what the conclusion is, if there’s a lesson here. I hope to disappear into the interwebs again, and not be found. All right, off to Google myself.