The Cold War

Okay, I haven’t posted much here in a while. Well, much ever I suppose. Every time I thought I was about to I started editing my post in my head and it never got out of there. It’s a messy place, for sure.

Today, Sally mentioned to me that the hot water was turned off.
(Cue Scooby Do “Huh!?”)

So I justgoogledit: “they turn the water off in moscow” (go ahead, try it. i’ll get you started )

Behold the following brilliance of Russian Modernity:

Moscow braces itself as city turns off hot water

WTF?! Seriously? This is a prime example of the assbackwardness of this city. Oh, I need to start my own small assbackwardness list–I’m sure Sally’s would me much longer.

Two weeks to turn off the hot water to check the pipes? Why? They might freeze in the winter? BOLLOX. I’ve been there in the winter and trust me that water is so frickin’ hot it isn’t going to freeze unless the Devil itself is calling up saying it’s ‘effing cold in Hell.

I fail to see how we are supposed to take Moscow seriously as a modern city that’s on par with the rest of the “First World.” Yeah yeah yeah…they have electricity that doesn’t go out (afaik). Sure, they have indoor facilities (with a shelf mind you) that generally work. There’s indoor water (granted you have to filter/boil it before you drink it) but hey that’s better than many places in sub-Saharan Africa–Sudan for instance. They have an awesome Metro system (minus an ounce of humanity, mind you) that is on time. They have tourist destinations (without any touristy accommodations)  that tourists can be touristy at. I’m starting to reach here a little bit.

Some say we outspent the former USSR to win the Cold War. I’m thinking we just installed more hot water heaters.

(Cue Scooby Do “Huh!?”)

This entry was posted in Anecdotes and Observations, I Call Bullshit, Oddities, The Lumpy Diaries. Bookmark the permalink.

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