Why the hell are they called burpees???

Today was some frighteningly self-esteem murdering cardio fit test. Nah, I did alright for a gimpy, flabby 42 year old.

Holy shit! Check out this selection of burpees from Wikipedia (the source of the truths):

Burpee push up –The athlete performs a push-up after assuming the plank position. Piece of cake, right??

Knee push-up burpee – The athlete bends their knees and rests them on the ground before performing the push up.

Jump up Burpee – The athlete jumps up as high as they can in at the end of the movement and before beginning the next Burpee.

Long-jump burpee -The athlete jumps forward, not upward.

Tuck-jump burpee – The athlete pulls their knees to their chest (tucks) at the peak of the jump.

Jump-over burpee – The athlete jumps over an obstacle between burpees.

Box-jump burpee – The athlete jumps onto a box, rather than straight up and down.

One-armed burpee -The athlete uses only one arm for the whole exercise including the pushup. Fuck that noise!!!

Dumbbell burpee -The athlete holds a pair of dumbbells while performing the exercise.

Parkour burpee -Following one burpee on the ground, the athlete jumps upon a table and performs the second burpee on the table, then jumps back to the initial position. why?

Hindu push up burpee -Instead of a regular push up, do a Hindu push up. Except they don’t define a Hindu push up.

Pull-up burpee – Combine a pull-up with the jump or do a pull-up instead of the jump.

Muscle-up burpee – Combine a muscle-up (a variation of a pull-up) with the jump or do a muscle-up instead of the jump.

Double burpee – Instead of one pushup, do two in a row. This cancels the drive from landing after the jump and makes the next jump harder. Each part of the burpee might be repeated to make it even harder. Because we all know that we want to make these motherfuckers harder. 

One Leg burpee – The athlete stands on one leg, bends at the waist and puts hands on ground so they are aligned with shoulders. Next jump back with the standing leg to plank position. Jump forward with the one leg that was extended, and do a one-leg jump. Repeat on opposite side.

Side burpee -The athlete bends at waist and places hand shoulder-width apart to the side of right or left foot. Jump both legs out to side and land on the outer and inner sides of your feet. Jump back in, jump up, and repeat on opposite side.

Shitee -Starting in plank position perform a push-up, then with hands maintaining position on the floor quickly bring feet forward so that the toes are even with the hands, then return to plank position.  Then poke your eye out with a KFC spork.

Also, according to The Wikipedias:

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the exercise was named in the 1930s for American physiologist Royal H. Burpee, who developed the Burpee test. He earned a PhD in Applied Physiology from Columbia University in 1940 and created the “Burpee” exercise as part of his PhD thesis as a quick and simple way to assess fitness. The exercise was popularized when the United States Armed Services adopted it as a way to assess the fitness level of recruits when the US entered WWII. Consisting of a series of the exercises performed in rapid succession, the test was meant to be a quick measure of agility, coordination and strength.

I’ll just put it to you straight; I hate Royal H. Burpee. Asshole.

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About Sally

It's all about me. ALL OF IT. ABOUT ME.
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