I am now 43. That’s one year older than 42*, for those who are, like me, mathematically challenged. What’s different, you may ask. What do you know now that you did not know last year? Share, oh wise one, the knowledge gained in one more year on this pestilent earth.
Here’s the short list:
- I really like Frac cookies with milk.
- If I eat too much of the above, I get fat.
- Dogs feet smell like Fritos. (I knew that before, but now I have Ripley all up in my grill every day.)
- Accidentally farting in public is a lot funnier than you think it might be.
- As I age, more of the above happens.
- Fuck is still one of the greatest words in existence.
- All of the things that are INCREDIBLY uncool about me are all of the things I like best about myself. Whut whut, can I get a witness, language geeks? Who hasn’t combed her hair in a week? This lady! Why yes, I do love school supplies. Thank you for asking.
- My 1.5 year old Aussie cattle dog is smarter than your dumbass kid who went to Harvard, and probably has more earning potential, as well.
- Tripping and falling while running in Chile feels the same as it does in the States.
- If asked to, I can still do The Running Man. Sometimes I just break it out, just ‘cuz.
- You let shit roll off your back until you can’t, then you nail somebody’s ass to the wall for involving you in the fucking drama.
Really, I think that’s most of it. Please feel free to contact me with any comments or questions about 43.
*”Good Morning,” said Deep Thought at last.
“Er..good morning, O Deep Thought” said Loonquawl nervously, “do you have…er, that is…”
“An Answer for you?” interrupted Deep Thought majestically. “Yes, I have.”
The two men shivered with expectancy. Their waiting had not been in vain.
“There really is one?” breathed Phouchg.
“There really is one,” confirmed Deep Thought.
“To Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and everything?”