I thought I’d start blogging again because I need an outlet once more. Every time I’ve been to therapy, it’s been recommended that I journal or write. I choose to write and subject everyone else to my angst, pain, and problems. It’s what makes people love me, I’m sure. Oversharing is my strong suit.
I am writing now because of physical pain. As of today, I have had a headache off and on for two weeks now, and I can’t get anymore migraine medication until Monday according to the insurance gods. Not that the fucking medication helps. I get a few hours of relief, then it comes back worse. These last few days the entire top of my head hurts. I think it was easier to deal with knee surgery than this.
Let’s add the sweet, sweet ingredients of shame and guilt to the mix. My headaches get so bad, and sometimes other aches and pains, too, that I have to cancel classes. I haven’t missed this much work since I’ve been sober. I feel like a terrible person and teacher.
I’m not sitting idly by, because I am a DOER!! I went to urgent care, I’ve been to the doctor an embarrassing amount and I’m going back Monday. The next level of medication has the side effect of making it hard for me to find words and slower thinking. Perfect for a language teacher who DEALS IN WORDS AS A PROFESSION.
So, I’d like to register a complaint with management. This is not what I signed up for. They say that childhood trauma makes folks more likely to have sicknesses, pain, etc., when they are adults, but COME ON.
Okay, that’s it for now. Trump rants soon to be coming. Fuck that guy.