Yes, that’s me. I’m up to 2 already, and I don’t even know how it happened. A few weeks ago at the gym I tested my ability and hit a full pull-up. There was nobody there that I knew besides the woman behind the desk, so I walked over and celebrated with her. I inwardly ran around the gym screaming, “I OWN THIS MOTHERFUCKING JOINT, BITCHES!!!!!! I OOOOWWWWWNNNNN THIIIIISSSS SHIIIITTTTTTT! Maybe it’s best that no one I knew was there.
I’m so close I can taste them. They’re a little metallic and quite salty.
I think I’ve still got a few weeks to go yet. I’ll go to the gym with Lumpy next weekend and see what we gots.
In more I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH MY BODY news, I have been on an anti-inflammatory cleanse/diet for the last week, and don’t feel like it has helped me at all. I’m not really eating that differently from how I normally eat, just taking out yogurt and cheese, mostly. And coffee. But I’ve cheated slightly on the coffee. The supplements I’m taking are exhausting and mostly just causing me to be astoundingly, foully gassy. I feel terrible for Lumpy and The Fuzz.
I should be down a few pounds from this latest thing, but NOPE. It’s got to be peri-menopause, right? I should be starting it within 3-5 years, so that’s what I am going to self-diagnose as the problem, finish this diet thingy this week, and move on with my life.
Today I finally had a great workout. I don’t know if having 4 shitty weeks in a row was worth the payoff, but the workout was amazing. I have 3 assistance bands that I use. The purple is the least support, green is middle, and blue is the most support. I start with the least support, so I’m doing the hardest work when I’m fresh, and I usually do 3 sets on each band. I do as many as I can. Today I gained one on the first set with the purple and green and gained 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, I can’t believe it, 3 pull ups on the first set with blue. That’s 13 pull ups. In a row. By me. This gal. Ripley is not impressed, but she also doesn’t speak English, nor does she have opposable thumbs.
Prior to The Pull Ups, I went to a nutrition seminar for those of us who seem to be stuck and feel like we’re doing things right, but still aren’t losing weight. I’m thinking I have to be missing some nutrient, or, since I’ll be going through menopause in a few years, my hormone levels are fucked up. I weigh in on Monday or Tuesday, so I can see if this week’s work pays off. If not, I have some good resources that aren’t too expensive, and I’ll see about getting some testing done.
Final thoughts: Epsom salts.
I recently saw a new back doctor because the previous two tries had been somewhat disastrous. (I only got an MRI after almost shouting down the last guy.) Some new symptoms had been happening and I thought I’d try again with a PA who is a woman. It seems that the stenosis and arthritis are just progressing, nothing to see here, move along, move along, but I’m struggling. Since I signed up for the latest 60 day challenge, I haven’t lost a single pound and no fat. Lots of things are contributing, and I’m sure it’s cyclical and will pass eventually, but what if it doesn’t???? I can still do most of my strength training and don’t intend on stopping the pull ups, but to help my back, I do need to lose weight. Not much, but 3-4% body fat less would definitely help.
I’m also struggling with terrible memories resurfacing (a few weeks ago I remembered my dad telling me about harassing other women, thinking of it as funny fucking story to tell his kid…) and my normal bouts of depression. I think what’s different is my perspective. I’m not entirely hopeless, I’ll keep plodding, which is what I do, and I ask for help when I need it, but I don’t know what to ask for right now, even though I feel like I need help. I don’t quite feel like I’m drowning, but I’m not thriving, either. I’m stuck at the low end of the cycle and just kind of biding my time until something changes.
Plod on, friends, plod on.
I’m taking a week off from pull up training because I feel like I need a break. I worked out on Tuesday intending on doing a light workout, and now I’m so sore I feel like I can’t walk properly. I did squats with the Smith machine. Big mistake. I’m heading back in today and I REALLY WILL do a light workout. Really. I don’t think I can manage anything else.
In other news, the universe heard my complaints about my dearth of students and dearth of money, and have 3 possible new students. If scheduling works with all of them, I’ll be spending lots of time in the car again, since they’re all 20-30 minutes away. Thank god for podcasts.
Sometimes I wonder if my body is trying to make up for all the years I didn’t sleep. I once went through a 4 month period with 2-4 hours of sleep every night. I wasn’t diagnosed with insomnia until my 30s, and I didn’t start taking medication until my mid to late 30s. That’s A LOT of lost sleep. I remember not sleeping well as a child, too, (8-10 years old, if I’m remembering correctly) and being really tired at school.
These last 2 weeks I’ve been waking up 3-4 times a night (with my head in the most uncomfortable position imaginable), which I haven’t done in a while. It’s definitely fucking with my workouts. I’ve felt stagnant and unable to make any real progress in that time. And heartburn. And headaches. And unhealthy food cravings. And a deep, deep need to nap every day.
Okay, problem solved. Go the fuck to sleep, Sally.
Exercise, generally, is not my problem. It’s eating. I had a tough week-started out pretty well, then had a terrible migraine for a few days, and still have stomach issues. It makes it hard to do the work I need to do. I also just feel safer when I eat the foods I like instead of the foods I need.
After something stressful, my brains screams, “CARBS CARBS CARBS!!!!!” at me, and while carbs are not something I shouldn’t eat, I just need to minimize them and be careful about what kind. White bread is not the best choice. Nor are saltines. Fruits and veggies are great, but my gut don’t want ’em.
I just had two slices of turkey and some Siggi’s vanille skyr. Exact serving sizes.
It’s going to be okay. Sigh. At least I can share it with Ripley. She likes to eat healthy, as long as it comes from The Hooman’s plates.