Category Archives: The Crazy

Fat as body armour

I’m starting a new challenge at the gym since I have eaten my way to self-hatred again. I’m using food to make my body repulsive, and therefore ignorable. Unappealing. Disgusting to old white guys. I’m going to attempt to write … Continue reading

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5 years sober

Because I don’t have a sponsor and I don’t go to a support group, I usually forget my sobriety birthday: then Lumpy does something nice and reminds me. It turns out that August 22 is the day, and it’s a … Continue reading

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Ever have one of those days?

The one where you wake up and think you will start running again after time off due to cough, diminished lung capacity, back pain, knee pain, and vacation? Then you see that there’s a wind advisory and you decide to … Continue reading

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The cats that won’t shut up.

I guess I’ll write about this, because I can’t concentrate on anything else. I’m sitting here, listening to Haggis’ every other minute meow, letting us know that it’s EAT:30!!!! Don’t forget! I should EAT NOW! He’s not as bad as … Continue reading

Posted in Füd, I Call Bullshit, The Crazy, The Fuzz | Leave a comment

The door has, inevitably, closed.

My mom wrote me back, finally, basically telling me that I am always critical of her when I am in therapy, and that she never thinks about my dad unless I bring it up. She then asks if I want … Continue reading

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The dichotomy

The elation of conquering fears, my body, miles vs. the sadness of thinking about my mom: sometimes they compete for attention. I am sitting here writing this feeling the highest high because I feel like a runner again today, but … Continue reading

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Another ending.

I wrote this to my mom, and she hasn’t replied. I wonder if she will. I don’t think she is capable of allowing herself to open up at all, and therefore move forward. It hurts my feelings, but there is … Continue reading

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